Twatter

I heard about a radical new social networking application on the world wide web. It's called twitter and you can find it at http://www.twitter.com. The "http://" may or may not be important. And it's widget is up top. So look up. Higher. . . .

Saturday Night - Tecate Night

I do wonder why I embarked on the task of maintaining a blog, it is not like my days are full of empty voids that I struggle to fill. It is true that my initial intention was simply to have something I could utilize when experimenting with Google API's. But I have done that now, and I am certainly writing much more than is necessary to test out a couple of http GETs and POSTs.

I am starting to have flashbacks to my childhood - those Cub Scout diaries I used to get for Christmas every year. Meticulously, I would complete my daily activities ([actual entry], "Jaws was on the telly today") and vow to maintain such devotion until the following Christmas, when I would be the delighted recipient of a new Cub Scout Diary. But, year on year, by December 29th I was starting to get bored. Sporadic entries would appear throughout January. One entry would be made in February (lest I forget my birthday) and then nothing but blank pages for the remainder of the year (for I was not interested in remembering anyone else's birthdays). I am seeing a similar trend with my blog. It is my sincere goal to buck that trend. For comedy's sake, if nothing else.

Before continuing, I should point out that I have consumed copious amounts of Tecate lager this evening. This means today's post will be either:

1. Full of grammatical and typographic errors or
2. An exceptional piece of literature, embracing the use of words I have difficulty articulating when devoid of alcohol in my bloodstream (for example typographic and articulating).

My drinking habits this evening are a celebration of finishing a 15 day course of Flagyl - an anti bacterial medicine. It's a nasty little bugger, and prompts immediate vomiting on the consumption of alcohol. It's primary use is for treating bacterial infections of the gastrointestinal tract and the vagina. Oh no - could my pharmacist be thinking I have a vagina? That would explain the uncontrolled giggling behind the counter when I picked the medicine up.

I wont mention a request this week from Methodist Hospital for me to be the face of their new advertising campaign. I will not be charging for my services. They are a non-profit organization and I am very pleased to be able to help them out. This is just one of many charitable acts I perform for the hospital at my own expense. For example, being the key driver in their annual giving campaign. But my charitable efforts are a personal affair and I prefer not to talk about it.

Why is it so difficult to buy a green trash can on wheels? On rubbish day, my whole street is lined with green rubbish bins with wheels on them. Except at my house where there are 3 beaten up wheel-free bins that lose all their grass cuttings out a big hole if you pick them up the wrong way. Where do these green wheelie bins come from? Are they homemade? Home Depot do not carry them. Neither does Lowes or Smart & Final. Osh is my next on my list. I will be going there tomorrow, so stand by for more updates on this matter.

Oh me, oh my. Look at the time. I am off to bed. But lastly - Harry Patch. Dead or alive? Yesterday alive, today dead. I suppose it's allowed at the age of 111. No one born during Queen Victoria's reign needs to be knocking around in 2009 do they? I hope I don't live to see my kids pop off when they're 80 years of age. What's fun about that? But read his book. I did and, amongst other things, it will give you an appreciation for having an inside toilet with a flush button.

PS. I have just left a message on the pharmacist's answering machine, advising them that I do not have a vagina. I wont regret doing that in the morning will I?

Monday

The 40th anniversary of the first moon landing.

I have nothing to report today except that I have been glued - literally glued - to WeChooseTheMoon.com (a "live" feed of the actual Apollo 11 mission + 40 years). Ahh, the benefits of being unemployed. I wonder if any skeptics registered WeChooseTheMoonAllegedly.com?

The exciting moment is over now, but I am going straight back to listen and see if there is anything else interesting going on. Like Buzz crying that he was the 2nd man out and how his dad is so angry with himself for turning out such a disappointing son.

Never mind Buzz, I'm sure daddy is looking down on you today, so proud to see you teaming up with Snoop Dogg.

Saturday

Found a good job that I applied for yesterday. A C# gig, heavy on the WPF and XAML. Even better, it's in Arcadia - the next town over. And, I should mention, a stone's throw from Methodist Hospital (because you never know when you need one, right?). No nasty commute into downtown or to the Googleplex in Santa Monica. Superb.

I've done a bit of WPF before but need to read more about it. I'll buy a book if I get a call back. Ideally, I would borrow one for free from my local library but that place is bloody rubbish. The best they have is a book on Pascal. With most of the pages missing.

Shall I have a rant about Measure L? OK, I will. That's the local tax we all voted to pay so we could have a big new library built. The city knocked the old library down, spent two years building a new one and then stuffed the same old rotten pre-1985 books back in there. What's that all about then? The Mayor is in bed with the boss at the construction company. That's what. And now I am paying a 30 year tax to get access to the same [useless] resources that I used to have access to for free. The city finished the construction about a half million bucks under budget. So what are they doing with the money? Crediting the 2010 property tax bills by a whopping eighteen dollars!! Keep the $18.00 and buy some bloody books instead.

Spent a couple of wet and soapy hours with a black stripper today. In my house, with my wife hanging around. How cool is that? Even better, it was my wife's idea and after weeks of procrastinating I finally got my act together. I got really bored after about 20 minutes. And there is still so much wallpaper remaining. I'll be at it for weeks.

Lacking US citizenship, I was denied the privilege of voting for my candidate of preference in the recent presidential election. Not that my vote was needed - he won anyway. I explained as much to Mr Obama in my invite for him to join my LinkedIn network. Can you believe it? He knocked me back. Declined. Not interested. How rude. He seems to be unaware that he's not going to be President for ever and the time will come when he needs to rely on a network of contacts to help him with his next career move. Build bridges mate. Don't burn them.

Rosebush Status: No activity.

I created a new problem for ourselves today. We taught our son how to undo the straps on his vehicular child restraint system (car seat). Why would we do this? Because we locked the keys in the car while he was restrained inside. And it was 95F outside. It was a race against time. Ileana had already called AAA but I didn't want to pay for the service. Understandably, a call of this nature is of the highest priority to them, so I knew time was limited. But Evan is a star. Receiving my shouted instructions through the glass, he had managed to get out of his car seat and unlock the door for us inside ten minutes. AAA showed up momentarily afterwards, but it was too late. They blew it, and I saved a few hundred dollars. Maybe I'll put the cash in my kid's college accounts instead.

G'night.

Thursday

I caught up on all my lost sleep last night. Got to bed before 9pm and got a good nine and a half hours of kip in. Even managed to sleep through my son vomiting twice, which was nice. I gingerly took him to preschool this morning, half expecting the phone call mid morning. "Come and pick up your sick kid". But not a word from them. However, the school does not have my new cell number. That could be of significance I suppose.

It's a sad day at the Barber household. The time has come. An era is over. It is the end. Yes, the end of "Bar Barber".

Yup, the best pub in the world is closing down today. The bar is being removed from my garage and is to be picked up by the rubbish man in the morning (for Fridays are rubbish day on my street, except if there has been a holiday that week. Then rubbish day is

a Saturday). The main reason for it's disposal is because one

of it's wheels fell off and, as you can see, is now propped up by concrete slabs. Reminiscent of a car outside Anfield Park just before half time.

I am trying to think of an alternate solution for my lack of a bar. I might just start drinking in the street, to the delight of the young kids in my neighbourhood.

Took a stress test with echocardiogram at the doctor's office yesterday. Everything looked OK - ticker still ticking. I was a little gutted that I only lasted 11 minutes on the treadmill though. Two years ago I did 13 minutes and that was only 5 months after all my problems. I reckon the nurse ramped up the speed on me a little prematurely. Least, that's my reasoning. And I am sticking to it, so there.

Watched Superman Returns on DVD yesterday (it gets played daily in my house). Did you know that Sir Richard Branson has a cameo in it? Well he does. I am not going to tell you where - you will have to watch the movie to find out. Correction: you will have to watch it one hundred times to find out, because you will miss it at first. Or you could Google it I suppose.

And finally: Vitamin E enema. Should I or shouldn't I?

Tuesday

So I had to call the DMV today. Something I had been avoiding for quite some time. However, I was pleasantly surprised that my hold time came in at under twenty minutes. That's a first. What is more, the lady I spoke too was actually very polite and helpful.

She must be new.

I'll call back in a week and see if she's become as rude as all the others (and who could blame her if she has). Annoyingly, the information she gave me was not what I wanted to hear. Seems selling my father-in-law's car is going to be more difficult than I had hoped. The reasons being that

• The title is in his name
• He never had the lien released after paying down the loan.
• He is now in a little plastic container in my living room, awaiting a scattering on the beach.

No huge deal. Just more paperwork and the Grand Am will need to stay on the driveway a bit longer.

Had a bathroom emergency on the way to Evan's swim class today. Had to come home and he never got to swim. Mommy is home now, so she can take him tomorrow.

Stopped by McDonald's drive through for the kids dinner (rare treat). The loud speaker says to me "Welcome to McDonald's. The ice cream maker is broken, so there is no ice cream. Can I take your order please?". I placed my order and when asked if I would like anything else, I responded with a request for ten ice creams. Though cracked up by my own humour, I foolishly expected to hear a reciprocal laugh from the loud speaker. Alas, no. Just a reiteration of the previous, and I expect scripted, line "The ice cream maker is broken, so there is no ice cream". There was no further mention of this verbal exchange when I arrived at Window #1.

It was at the McDonald's on Foothill, by Ralph's if anyone wants to head over there and wind the man up a bit more.

Another week beginneth

I suppose to most people, a Monday morning means rushing to get out the door for their commute to work. Well, not me.

Got up at the normal time: 7:15 am. But it would appear I didn't get enough sleep as I knocked out again, around 11:30 am. Unfortunately, I was at the Nu-Way Car Wash at the time, getting my father-in-law's car spruced up, ready to sell. The poor guy was stood there waving his cloth at everyone in the waiting area, with no-one responding. Until I decided to wake up. I added an extra dollar to the tip for the inconvenience I caused.

Could have been worse I suppose. The guy next to me could have got up and driven off in it. That said though, who would want to nick a Pontiac Grand Am?

Hung some pictures and took Evan to swim class. Madeline knocked out two teeth on the bleachers. (I just threw that in in the event my wife is reading this - it didn't really happen).

Mistake of the day: "It's not Reeves, it's Reeve". In reference to the guy that played Superman. I'd have been alright, but we were talking about George, not Christopher. I'm quite certain my mate Bryan told everyone at the office and they then spent the rest of the working day laughing at me. And now they're all at home, laughing about me with their families. Not that I am paranoid or anything.

Alright, tonight I absolutely definitely will get my resume finished. It's almost two months since I lost my job and still have not posted anything on Monster or Dice.

For Sale: Superb deal!! 2001 Pontiac Grand Am SE, only 67K miles. Guaranteed not to be stolen, ever.